Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Kylelle Jamila's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, July 31st, 2005
8:58 am	Yo Ho! After running into a little snag when some chimerical barrier stood between my boat and liberty, Prima and I ran back into an old friend. Well, a recent lover, anyway, the Eshu. I offered to give him a lift to Cairo with us, but I should have known his type will not be "taken" anywhere. :) Still, why do I have the feeling that he'll already be there by the time we arrive? We've been on open water for a couple of days now, and I'm loving it. Prima, however, is already bored. I don't understand how a Selkie can be bored with an empty ocean at her disposal. Well, empty of banal bothers like the coast guard, anyway. Still, as irritating as I find her once in a while, it's good to have some company on the voyage. The journey here was not nearly so interesting. Also I couldn't turn into a seal then. I hope we meet some chimerical sea monsters. :) Current Mood: peaceful (Comment on this)
Friday, July 29th, 2005
1:54 pm	I'm trying to figure out my next move. Well, Prima's and my next move. I mentioned Cairo, and she's all for it. Now I feel kind of backed into the decision. I hope my brother's enemies don't recognize me when we get home. Come to think of it, it's been so long, I hope my friends DO recognize me... I know I said I was going to stay. I told Bonghead I'd help Olivia and the other selkies, but Andrew doesn't seem to want my help where Olivia is concerned, and the best way I know how to help Prima is to get her the hell out of here. I wish I could take them all. I would if I knew where to find them. Olivia might be able to help me, but I don't know where to find her, either. The piskie's burrowed her away somewhere, "safe." I can't believe she's happier the way she is now. She used to be cool. Now it's like she's completely dependent on this asshole. But enough about her... what do I care... Prima's kind of socially retarded for someone who likes to think of herself as a well connected. She has absolutely no idea how to talk to people. Like that whole fiasco with Erin. That sucked. Then I had a fight with Erin later that night about something ridiculous: the fact that Erin was having sex. Other people having sex affects me how? I think Martin may have had something to do with my unusual mood swings. He enjoys messing with people's brains and hearts, which is all very funny unless he's doing it to me. I invited him to come to Cairo with us, but he refused. He said he didn't want to increase the chances that he would be alone with Prima. Ugh, does she not get how creepy the 13-year-old slut thing is? I'm not saying she can't have sex at 13, I'm just saying she has to choose her targets better. For one, choose people who are attracted to her. Maybe in three or four years, that will be everyone, but right now it's not. If someone says you're too young for them, either give up and try someone else, or get them really, really drunk before you hit on them again with a new name. I thought everybody knew that. Maybe Sassine will be able to do something with her if we find him... Or maybe he'll just sleep with her... Maybe before we cast off I'll steal a wonderbra for her... it certainly couldn't hurt... Current Mood: confused Current Music: Kidney Thieves -- Before I'm Dead (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 17th, 2005
12:53 am	Banality Bad... Sex Good! So we get to New Delhi, India, where actually I've never been. Too far inland, you see. No Thallain in the basement. No Thallain upstairs. Of course, I'm not really sure what the fuck a Thallain is, but from the descriptions, I'd say that if I see one, I'll know right away that it ain't right. We'd barely begun the search when Maggie pulled us back to Florida. Cheap, but I will admit she's proven herself to be the safest Eshu I've met so far. Andrew pulled me aside to give me that, "We're all Changelings here," talk, where he suggested that we put our differences aside to hunt the selkie-hating monster. Of course, he worded the whole thing like I was the one starting shit... but whatever. If that's his version of an apology, I wipe his slate clean... until he does or says something else to piss me off. As far as the soul-ripper investigation goes, Andrew's kind of taken that over, and I feel... out of the loop, like I have nothing to contribute. Mac and the Sluagh (Zorn? Sarg? crap, I forgot again...) can do any kind of sneaking in/stealing type job that I can, possibly better. I think I may just step aside for this one until somebody specifically states that they need me. This guy can't effect me, anyway. I'm a selkie. He'd have to physically wrench my coat away, and if anybody touches it I will not hesitate to rip out their eyes, cut off their dick, and skull-fuck them with it. It's my fae soul. I don't fuck around. Back at the bar, I was making eyes at a blond Sidhe with a big... sword. I really hoped he wasn't compensating for something. Then Andrew scared him away with his gun. Arg... apparently we don't want the same thing... In addition to getting excited about the Pretty-Pretty and then having it taken away, an ex-Piskie enters stage whatever, and gives this story, which I believe: blah blah blah she needed help, blah blah blah andrew dumps her off at a halfway house, blah blah blah she goes to an orphanage and goes banal, and now she's pissed. I totally sympathized with her, and wanted to help her in anyway i could, and might have made more of an effort if it hadn't been for this voice in my ear, warning me of my impending Undoing. It had me really bummed out. To "cheer me up," or rather to entertain himself in a desperate attempt to get laid, Martin worked some hocus-"poke-us" to try to make me let go of all my inhibitions. And it worked... for about ten minutes. After that I thought, "Hmmm... how can I make him regret this?" So I turned into a seal and proceeded to pursue him for the next twenty minutes. He was thouroughly freaked out. Yay me. That's what he gets for messing with my mind. I've had enough of that shit. Pleasant surprise/Silver lining: at the end of the night, the bar suddenly became Eshus-R-Us, and one by one, sexy people filed in. I was there to offer them all drinks. Coffee... tea... and ME! I met Prima, another of the old selkie crew. She was looking for Olivia, because of Bonghead's "find her and help her or you're all gonna die!!!". Same story, but if I'd gotten here after someone else, I would have wanted them to tell me not to bother, so that's what I told her. She's a very nice kid, and she knows where she stands in the world, but like so many kids who get pulled in to the Changeling scene, she really has no where to go. I'm lucky I was self-sufficient before all this started for me, because if I wasn't, it's evident that neither Andrew nor Olivia, bless them, would be good for crap. Between Molly the Dauntain and goodness knows how many newly homeless and futureless selkies, their record, well... could be better. Prima, Martin, and an Eshu who's name I don't recall (if he ever told me), but who I can still feel when i walk too quickly, all headed from the bar to my boat for a rockin' time. I was kind of hoping Lani the surfer would stop by, but I'm not sure why. Allah would not approve, but then He wouldn't approve of a lot of things that have happened/been spray-painted on the S.S. Terrorist. The Eshu was magical, to say the least. A little loud for my tastes (I have dock-neighbors, y'know), but he seemed to be *almost* as experienced as I. Poor little Prima was feeling left out for a little while, until I got both her and the Eshu high. Yula, I may feel guilty about that one later, she's like thirteen... eh. *shrugs* I'm so excited now, because I have a new roommate! Although it's probably temporary, Prima's agreed to crash on my boat. I don't know where she was staying before. I'm not sure I want to, but everything's going to be okay now. Slowly but surely our motley is coming back together, I can feel it. My inner Realle is pleased. I'm not even worried right now about the fact that we haven't found the Thallain yet. Note to self: must find where the newest selkie went, the one that andrew gave the coat to, who was originally sluagh. Invite her to the boat, too. Second Note to self: never got to shag Martin, but acted a terrible tease. must make this up to him at some "point." Current Mood: high Current Music: Catherine Zeta Jones/Queen Latifah -- Class (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 9th, 2005
8:54 pm	(((written in Kye's journal during that long-ass boat ride))) As homecomings go, this was not how I expected it. First I went to the bar, which was a good idea, because I got to see Erin and Mac again. Obviously I'd been hoping to run into Olivia, but apparently she and Andrew have been missing for weeks. I was the only one who seemed genuinely concerned about this, but the others had other things on their mind. They filled me in on some guy/thing that had ripped a kid's fae self from his human body. That really makes my blood boil. Of course, this brought on, between Erin, some creepy Sluagh that isn't Caradoc, and myself, whether or not a selkie would forget her fae self as soon as she was physically seperated from her coat. I don't know the answer to this, because I personally make sure that I'm always touching my coat in some way. Privately, I planned to ask Olivia when I found her. Erin wanted to find out immediately, and suggested I give the coat to her so she could give it back after the experiment. I said maybe later, but there's no way in Hell that's every going to happen. It took my nineteen years and a lot of experience with breaking and entering just to get this thing the first time. So long story short, we broke into the county jail to talk to the child-tormenting, fae-tearing bastard. It was pretty fun, and I got to use my cymbals to manipulate "the po-po," but we didn't learn anything except the guy had no idea what the hell we were talking about. Possession is my guess, but I don't have much first-hand experience with this kind of thing. Oh yeah, and we got to annoy and confound a bus full of people on the way home. Serves that stupid fat lady right for leaning on me. Ew. We get back to the bar, and instead of continuing to help Mac and creepy Sluagh guy, which probably would have been a more fun and productive use of my time, I decide to ask Maggie to help me find Andrew and Olivia. They were lost at sea. I was worried about them. I had a boat, and and Eshu. So there you go. I find them, and they're fine, hanging out at the swamp with Merl. Well, not fine so much. Andrew's holding a decapitated head and Olivia is... ew. She was a sidhe and she had a baby, standing there waving at me like a living symbol of all the things I don't want to get involved with my life. Neek Masalaama. I mean... good for her, but... God dammit. Most of us don't even get one fae self, and she had two. She throws away her coat, which is supposed to be the greatest gift she's ever received, and she stays a changeling ANYWAY, not just a changeling, but nobility. Without my coat, I... I'm nothing. I'm ordinary. It's not fair. I have to fight tooth and nail for everything I have. But Olivia's not the problem. It's that other one. Agent Andrew Callahan... is slightly different than I remember him. He's bitter, angry, and condescending. He's going to be a great dad, I'm sure, the way he's going (pick up sarcasm here). I'm surprised a fairy can even be this much of an asshole. He made racial remarks. He accused me of being a coward. He purposely antagonized me. Ungrateful Piskie swine. I wouldn't even be there if I hadn't been worried about him and his "wife." The only reason I am here, sailing along to meet a monster, is to help them, and all he's doing is complaining about how slow my boat is and how much it sucks. Well, fuck it now. After this thallain/dauntain/hunter/whatthefuckery issue is put behind us, they're on their own. Olivia can go explore drylands with her new family, and Andrew can have his soul devoured by Ammut for all I care. I wash my hands of them. The local Unseelie really are more fun. Maybe I'll look Ganfee up and find out if his offer still stands. Current Mood: disappointed Current Music: Dido -- White Flag (Comment on this)
8:29 am	Lookout, Sarasota. She's a couple of tattoos older and a couple of barfights wiser. Kylelle Jamila's back in town. Current Mood: predatory Current Music: Rick Springfield -- Jessie's Girl (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 30th, 2005
5:27 pm	Zippidy Do-Fucking-Da I like Key West in all the smaller, less touristy places. It´s actually a really small towbn, as far as actual residents go. Everybody knows everybody. I like that. I want to know everybody, too. I´ve been both "finding" and making presents for people, for when I go back. I think I acutally am ready to go back. I just home they´re redy to have me. On second thought, I guess it doesn´t matter. What matters is how we deal with this monster thing. I´m not really worryingt about anything beyond that. Yep, besides the murderer, I´m worry-free. Current Mood: pumped (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 28th, 2005
5:16 pm	Mallory Square Am I avoiding responsibility? Yes I am. I´m in Key West now. It´s about an hour away from sunset, and the sunset is actually a tourist attraction here, so it´s crowded as all Hell. There are lots of street performers around this part of town. One of them is a piskie. He´s a mime, and he´d covered himself with silver dust, so that he looks like a living statue. The performance was actually pretty funny, and at one point I could have sworn he winked at me. Near him was a cardboard sign that said, "Please give me money so I can feed my silver kids." I laughed, and stuffed a $20 in his back pants pocket. Someone took our picture. I followed them and mooched the camera while the sun was setting. Magic kicks ass. They have a pirate museum here, too, which was interesting. Of course, it was all about colonial pirates, not the kind I´ve known. Still, I learned a lot. There´s a Wreckers Museum, too, and I learned that at one time, the economy of the entire island relied on the plunder that people brought back from shipwrecks. The highest paid job was that of a diver, and to be one you had to be able to hold your breath for at least six minutes at a time. I bet all the divers were selkies. I would have been the star of nineteenth-century Key West. Current Mood: amused Current Music: Godsmack -- Serenity (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 21st, 2005
4:58 pm	Deepest Dreaming Life is too short to Dream, But what option do I see? Courage is wasted on the weak, And dreams are wasted on me. On her quest to be the best Gold Kat has lost herself, And on her quest to find herself She's lost what she could be, (chorus) But she'll wake up, And she'll come running, Arms wide open, Lift me up to say: "Mama's here, Your nightmare's over. Let's go see the world together." She'd never give what she could take This glorious golden goddess. Her Legacies, a Rogue, a Rake, She'll change, and she'll come back to us. She'll forget Eshu wanderlust, Forget the Selkie's call to sea, Put piracy aside for us, And make me her priority, And she'll be there And she'll be running, Arms wide open Lift me up to say: "Mama's here, Your nightmare's over. Let's go see the world together." Yes she will go back home to Cairo, And struggle with the boarded door, Look for her husband through the window, But Daddy's not there anymore, And Brother's also gone away, Her son has gone within the Dreaming. I should know, I had to stay, To bless and burn his mortal seeming. And I'm still running. I'm still running, Arms wide open Through the darkness. Breaking free but still surrounded, Grabbing trees to keep me grounded, And I'm still running, But you always knew Empty hearts can Fly much lighter. I never took the time to doubt you, And now I've seen the world without you. Current Mood: quiet (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, June 12th, 2005
5:09 pm	City that never sleeps. I returned to NYC, where I feel I haven´t been in ages. I didn´t really miss the city scene, but I felt I owed it to myself to try to get back in touch with my street smarts. And honestly, I did miss America. For ll my Egyptian pride, I believe that I am very much an American girl. New York is even more beautiful than I remember, mostly because the last time I was here, I wasn´t sensitive to all the fae stuff that goes on right under everyone´s silly mundain nose. There´s actually an all-changeling nightclub here! It´s called Deep Dreams, and it´s owned by this sexy satyr with dreadlocks and blue-blue eyes, who I had the priviledge of... um... meeting. Crap, what was his name? Speaking of satyrs (and of crap), Bonghead was there. I asked him what he was doing there (didn´t seem like a grump´s kind of place), and he asked me the same thing. Asked me why I wasn´t with Olivia. "I don´t need her," I told him. He said, "She needs you." He seemed sad to talk to me, sad to look at me, and he explained that I reminded him of Realle, his friend, my coat´s former owner. Then the real story began. Apparently there were a few things Bonghead had neglected to mention to me, that night in Miami. The coat would make me a changeling, he´d said, and it did. Now suddenly, the thing that killed his friends now wants to kill me, and Olivia too, and all of the other people she´d tried to help. If we don´t kill this thing, it´s going to pick us off, one by one. Thanks, Bonghead. Thanks Olivia. Thanks for the nifty coat o´ death. Jamila. Just monteza. Perfection. Yeah. "You have to go back," he kept insisting, "You all need to stick together." "I can´t go back." "Why not?" "I... because... I LEFT. You don´t just leave a place and all of a sudden come back out of nowhere!" He looked at me for a minute, before slowly responding. "What the hell are you talking about? Of course you can go back somewhere once you leave! That´s what homes are for." "Sarasota is not my home." "Maybe not, but it´s where your new family is, and you´re going to need each other right now. Especially, I think, they´ll need you." "Me?" "Yeah, you´re pretty scrappy." I pondered this a little. "Well, I AM scrappy..." I thought about the other selkies, and realized with a guilty heart that I didn´t know anything about any of them. I´d never met them. I´d never even thought about them, but now that I am, the word "sisters" keeps coming up again and again in my head. It´s an alien word, not one I´ve often used or considered. "I didn´t... leave well," I tried to explain to him. He was a junkie. He would understand. "If I go back, what will I say?" He shrugged. "Just say Bonghead sent you." Current Mood: scared Current Music: Ace of Base -- All That She Wants (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 7th, 2005
5:24 pm	Breathe in and release. Repeat. I am sitting in the Brazilian rainforest with my back against a tree. I don´t see any monkeys or jaguars or anything cool, but there are chickens, which is the weirdest and funniest thing you´d expect to see, yet here they are. For a while I´ve just been seeping in the quiet beauty of it all. It´s starting to rain a little. I never really appreciated stuff like this before, I think. It´s weird that for the past month or so my tastes have been changing. I wonder if it´s because of the other recent change I´ve had. I read that the same thing happened to the cop´s daughter, when she chrysalized. She became a different person. I don´t want to be a different person. I just wanted to be better, like stronger and stuff. That´s all I wanted. I am happy now, in this sanctuary, as I´m happy at sea, but I know I´m just using it as an escape. I´ve been living every day like, "Who cares what´s going on with my life/my future/my memories? I´m doing my own thing." But eventually, there will be certain realities I have to face. I think on them now, and the first is this: not all the memories coming back are my own. Olivia said this might happen, and lately I´ve been viewing this other life as sort of an entertainment. I was Raelle. Well, I wasn´t, I guess, but the veil person was. She got shot. Sometimes a spot on the side of my abdomen hurts where the bullet-hole in my veil still serves to remind me of one of the Lost. Second dose of reality: I don´t knowas much as I thought I did. I still know a lot about various things, but not enough about how the whole changeling thing works. Granted, at my chrysalis, I knew a lot more than other people do when they get pulled in, but the difference is that they all seem to be taken in afterwards, and I wasn´t. Even the redcap was made a squire, which is rediculous. Having so many questions wouldn´t be so bad if I had someone to answer them. Someone who could explain without guiding, teach without judging. Another thing that´s changed about my personality: against my will, I find myself yearning for... stability. A place to call my own, maybe even a person to call my own. Eshu are not good for this. I have never had nor needed this before. Will continue to fight the cravings. Hmm... now I´m thinking that I might want to return to a dark, underworld-type place, like I´m used to, so I can straighten myself out, find myself again. A place where I can hear good music, smoke a hookah, and get laid by a beautiful stranger. I have not experienced sex between two changelings yet. This is something that I think would be quite interesting. A satyr, or another selkie like me, maybe even one of the neekashee. Why not? They´re hot. I like the way they talk, like everything´s a quest. Perhaps I can present them with a challenge... Current Mood: calm Current Music: Thievery Corporation -- Lebanese Blonde (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 2nd, 2005
5:29 pm	Kissed by the Waves I took off from Sarasota last week. Just couldn´t stay. You know... nobody understood me there. I left a little goodbye/thank-you present for Liv on her doorstep, but as usual, it didn´t look like she´d been around for days. Now I´m kinda worried that maybe they´ll get stolen before she gets them, but that will be her own fault. I´ll probably never see her again, anyway, so who cares. I haven´t landed anywhere for a while and stayed more than a few hours. Pretty much as long as it took to get some provisions and then I´m back to the sea. It´s so freeing, sailing out to the middle of the ocean until you start to lose track of where you are. I´m starting to forget all my problems. Not worrying about what I am or what I´m supposed to be doing. I´m who I´ve always been, but better. I´m Kylelle Jamila, the thief, the pirate-sister, the performer, the shit starter, the heart breaker, the ocean-daughter, the fearless explorer, the selkie. The bitch. Yes that too. Looking out at the water at night... this is what people must feel like when they´re in love. The Ocean is my home as well as my lover. She never judges me, always supports me. She´ll always be here, and she´s the only one left in the world that I would never betray. No one can own or dominate her. She may get hurt, but she survives, still capable guiding her children gently or tearing her would-be upsurpers limb from bloody limp, pulling them forever into her own personal oblivian. I think maybe the Ocean can help me to better understand the dreaming, since obviously no one else I´ve spoken to can. It´s a world that is part of ours, yet seperate unto itself. It contains fabulous monsters, yet is capable of great beauty. People get lost at sea, as well, yes, but I still forgive and love her. I suppose every time I set sail I´m taking a risk at becoming one of those who are lost, but I always think it´s worth it. If someone I cared about were here, I would race right out and search for them, of course. And I´d rather not be here alone. So maybe I understand now, better, what´s going on with Erin, and why it insists on this quest that I personally would find so terrifying. Perhaps others feel the same about sailing, yes. (Comment on this)
4:50 pm	I MISS GAME! Still here in Cofradia Honduras (this is Davin), and if you want to read about it check out my lj "Jessikanesis". Kye got this: You scored as Darth Vader. </td> Darth Vader 67% General Grievous 64% Padme Amidala 61% Anakin Skywalker 58% Chewbacca 53% Clone Trooper 47% Yoda 47% Mace Windu 44% C-3PO 44% Emperor Palpatine 44% Obi Wan Kenobi 39% R2-D2 39% Which Revenge of the Sith Character are you? created with QuizFarm.com But oddly enough so did Davin, which I don´t think is quite accurate for me... (Comment on this)
Saturday, May 28th, 2005
7:13 pm	"What a lot of fun, you guys have been real swell. And there's not a one, who can say this ended well. All those secrets you've been concealing, Say you're happy now, once more with feeling. Now I gotta run. See you all in Hell." (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 26th, 2005
6:30 pm	I don't know what in the seven hells I'm doing. I am so lost. Why is everyone here so unhealthily obsessed with exploring the Dreaming? More importantly, why do I let it effect me? It's not like I'm going. They probably expect me to volunteer my own life and accompany them, but I won't. No way. Why would I? So Erin can find someone I've never met? To prove that true love does indeed conquer all? I don't care how nice or unintentionally funny Erin is. This has nothing to do with me. I feel that I have made a horrid first impression to the Changelings in Florida. I'm new to a lot of this. I can't help it if I have a lot of questions, or if I don't understand everything right away. I can't help it when I get scared. But it's not the way I am, not really, and they don't see that. They feel bad for me. How dare they. I'm strong and independent. I'm a great shot and an even better sailor. I've been on my own since I was sixteen, and I've taken pretty damn good care of myself, all by myself. Everything I have, I have because of me. Because I saw it and wanted it and made it my own. It's my boat. They're my weapons. This is my coat, and my pretty treasures. I bought my chimerical gun with MY money. $250, to be exact. And then Andrew decides he's going to just give me a gun. He just gave it to me. Who does that? At first I thought it was just a sweet gesture, but the more I think about it... He doesn't think I can handle myself without handouts from Seelies? He's never seen me at my best. And now that he's going to die in the Dreaming, he never will. I don't know why I got so freaked out about that. He's right. It's none of my business. He's not my dad, and she's not my daughter. Nothing that happens to either of them should have any effect on me. I hate feeling this way. I hate when I care about people. Have to knock that off... Maybe I've just been here too long. Now that I've gotten adjusted to this whole thing, I can start over... again. I can go somewhere completely new and make a whole new first impression. This time no one will underestimate me. I won't give them a chance. Maybe I'll go home, to Cairo. Maybe I'll find Sassine and join his crew, this time as more than just the mascot. Or maybe I'll finish what Jack started. I'll start asking around in the darker circles, and try to find out what happened to Kat-- to Mom. If she was a Changeling, she won't remember that by now... but she should still remember me. I have her eyes. No, maybe that last one's a bad idea. I don't want to find her, because then I'll have to find out why she didn't try to find us. She's probably dead, anyway. Forget that whole thing. I don't want to know. I don't know. I don't know what to do. Andrew said something about me being "Undone before you have even seen the end of your first year" if I didn't stop being an arrogant bitch. I can't tell if he was serious or if he was just being a prick. Once and a while people will say things that scare the hell out of me, and I'm too ashamed to ask them about it. Why will I be Undone? I just got like this, why would it all stop all of a sudden? The Undoing thing doesn't apply to Selkies, does it? Don't we get to keep our magic as long as we keep our coats? If so, then why would anyone ever give the coats away unless they died, like the Selkie in this coat did? I don't understand. I don't know what to do... I just have to get out of here, away from these people... they're going to make me Seelie, and then I'll be sorry. I'll probably get killed by a young Eshu who's just like I used to be. By then I'll welcome the end, because I'll be so fricking drained of energy because I've cared about so many people that end up dying or taking advantage of me. Fucking Seelie... who can live like that? Current Mood: cynical Current Music: Once More with Feeling -- Sweet's Reprise (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 22nd, 2005
11:00 am	"You have a trace of the Gold Kat in you." Constance Callahan. Andrew's kid is hilarious, as well as adorable. I really like her, but she freaks me the hell out. I'm glad she liked those muffins. I kind of want to stay on her good side. She knew about Kat. She didn't know what it meant, but she still knew that Kat was part of me. I haven't thought about my mother in a long time. I wonder where she is now. In fact, I wonder a lot of things about Gold Kat Simmons. But back to Connie... part of me is insanely jealous of this little kid who obviously has ten times more power than I have, so far anyway. But the other part realizes how... inconvenient it must be. She's just a kid, no matter what random flowers she eats. Thank Allah she has her father. It's harder alone. What's going to happen when he becomes Undone? For all their Seelie-ness, I really like Olivia, Erin, and Andrew. Olivia has a spontaneous, flexible side to her that makes her "wtf is your problem, kye?" side easier to deal with. Erin is just a bizarre person, and I like that. They surround themself with similar weirdos, like that angry fire-lizard guy. He was hilarious. What an interesting set of roommates... It's too bad Erin's going to die in the Deep Dreaming. We might have been friends. Andrew gave me a chimerical gun! He just gave it to me, which is... weird. I'm going to need to have it checked for transmitters and microphones and bugs, but it was still a great of him. That reminds me, I have to find Mac and pick up the gun I paid him for last week. He said it would be ready by now, en sha Allah. It better be. I went from having no chimerical weapons at all three weeks ago to having two guns and a knife. Good things have been happening to me! Al hum dol Allah! :-D For whatever reason, He is smiling on me. Current Mood: good Current Music: Dralion -- Ballare (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 19th, 2005
4:42 pm	Why I Became A Changeling: 1. To see the same world everyone else can see. 2. Superpowers, doi. 3. To better remember the last eleven years of my life. 4. Superpowers, doi! And all the respect and prowess that comes with superpowers. Mortals, bow before your Selkie queen! At least, that's what I've been practicing saying in the mirror... 5. Why the hell not? It just seemed like a good idea. While we're on the topic of superpowers, I've finally been figuring mine out over the past week. Fun stuff. I feel so one with everything around me lately. Well, okay, not everything, but the good things. Nature, the water caressing me and my boat, the wind pushing us around and singing while I dance, the sun as my spotlight, the rain as my applause. Yeah, this part isn't why I became a Changeling. This isn't something I planned for. It's better. Current Mood: energetic Current Music: Apollo Four-Forty -- The Perfect Crime (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 17th, 2005
5:06 am	Atathaakar! -- I remember! I had a vivid dream last night, and I know it was real. Not a dream, but a memory. One of the lost. After remembering, it's little wonder why I tucked it away to begin with. Who knows what I'll remember next... That Sidhe-Spaniard bastard working for his government's navy was after us... that's something I had always known. That is why their kind were always called, on our ship, the neekashee. He was attempting to hide his crew in a cloud of chimera and ambush us, and it might of worked. But I couldn't see the chimera. What I did see was two dozen armed Spaniards in uniform, crouched low, and I said so. My voice was barely recognizable, the voice of a child. I couldn't have been more than eleven, because I was just barely getting used to handling a gun. Suddenly everyone was in an uproar. The Spaniards ran around as if being attacked or burned. We ran to fight them. I joined the charge, but much to my dismay, the others around me fell back and began to retreat. I couldn't understand what they were afraid of... until Jack found me. "Don't hang around too long, Kye," he said, leading me by the arm, "These ones, they're taken care of." "Why?" I asked. "Never mind, you." And he pushed me in front of him so we could regroup with the others back aboard the ship. "Why, Jack? I can't see. What is it?" Everyone was ushered onboard and we hurriedly set off, leaving our enemies looking rather panicked behind us. "The neekashee thought to hide behind some chimerical rocks, which turned out to be kabeer huge chimerical insects that were sleeping. They woke up and now we're trying to make sure that they don't get on the ship, en sha Allah, so we're leaving." I was silent for a moment, watching the neekashee, until finally fixing my eyes on my brother and saying plainly, "I want to see." "You don't need to see! I said we're leaving!" "I want to." "No." "It's not FAIR!" "Maha Kumar bint Nader!" Jack made to get angry at me, using my old name, but I glared at him unflinching, and folded my arms. He couldn't stay mad at me, I knew. He didn't have that kind of time. So his expression softened and he called out to anyone who would hear, "Somebody charge up the bracelet. Who's turn is it?" "It's yours, friend," grinned Sameer, one of the (larger, rougher) shipmates who gave me the willies. He had my bracelet in his hand, and tossed it to Jack. I smiled as I watched my brother work his magic for me, and when he latched the jewelery onto my arm, I remembered, for the umpteenth time, why Sameer made me so nervous. He had instantly become a gray monster with a huge, grinning mouth, exposing row upon row of sharp, crocodile-like teeth. "If you scream again," he said softly to me, "I'll bite off all your pretty hair." During earlier enchantments I had screamed upon the very sight of him. I guess he took it personally. That was just Sameer, my brother's friend. Then I saw the things that I had begged to see. Dark red... hard shells... They moved about in the air like flying beetles, but lashed out at their pray with long red tentacles that seemed to be sucking the life out of the neekashee they had managed to catch. Each creature was at least two feet long. The neekashee themselves now looked to me as I knew they were supposed to, beautiful and sad, with long, pointed ears. The chimera insects screamed, as well, which I hadn't expected. They screamed like a science fiction movie, although I couldn't tell whether it was out of fear, hunger, or just with the joy for what they did to the poor, pathetic neekashee. The latter screamed too, of course. Oh, how they screamed... "There," said Jack, "You can see. Happy now?" That was the last thing I remembered before waking up. "Happy now?" My heart was pounding and I started stumbling around the dark cabin of my ship for the cigarettes. I still haven't found them. Now I'm going to have to go out and buy some more. So I lay here, balled up in my hammock in the dark, clutching my selkie veil around me until my palms sweat and wrists ache with the pressure. It's still here. It's still a part of me. I'm not letting go. You can see. Happy now? Well, Jack... funny you should ask... Current Mood: distressed Current Music: Al Green -- Ain't No Sunshine When [S]He's Gone (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 15th, 2005
10:03 pm	Ain't That A Kick In The Ballsagek? Part 2 I had wondered before why Mochtadi hadn't stayed with the crew. Last night served as a reminder. Mochtadi, or "Zeus," or whatever he calls himself, possesses that charming Eshu quality of, "WHY AREN'T WE MOVING??? MAKE IT GO!!! GO GO GO!!!" Ordinarily I love this in men, but in the Dreaming... it's stupid and irresponsible. He was supposed to be our guide, and he kept wandering off every time he was sidetracked. We almost lost him several times, and then what would have happened? Dammit, I'm supposed to be the reckless one! Me! And between Mochtadi, Mack, and the Sonofabitchagek, I found myself acting as the voice of reason, which is total BS. Maybe I'm just still used to being taken care of. :-( I can't help but think that if I really were as independent as I think I am, then his attitude would have been fun and refreshing. If we were in some exotic land anywhere else, I would be right there by his side, running headlong into the unknown. We could have wonderful adventures together, he and I. Anywhere else, we would make a great team. Anywhere else. Why do I let the Dreaming effect me so much? It's the only place that I have ever been where I have thought to myself, "I want to go home." And I don't even know what I mean by home. In the black and white whore world, where, interestingly enough, my veil, Mack's laser, and the entire Shamagack were still in color, something very strange happened to me. I mean strange for the Dreaming, not just, you know, strange. A "nurse" took in the lucky lizard man. Mack was being made hostage in the most enjoyable of ways, while Mochtadi was entertaining himself in another room with two chimerical, black and white whores. I was willing to just stand there and wait. Let the men have their fun, and then we would go. But they wouldn't leave me alone. One girl in particular, insisted that she could help me, "I do talk jobs," she said, even after I told her that she had nothing to offer me that I was interested in. "Look," I said, finally, "No offense, but you're chimerical, so as far as I'm concerned right now, you don't really exist." I felt as if lightning had sprung out of the ground, grabbed me by the heart, and then sank back down, taking me with it. For a few seconds, I couldn't move, I couldn't breath. All I could concentrate on was the terrible pain and spontaneous despair that had spread through me like a cynical cancer. "I knew it," I thought to myself, "I knew the Dreaming would kill me." But it didn't. A few seconds later I was fine and we were off to our next destination, once more struggling to keep up with the insatiable Eshu. When he finally brought us back to Erin's bar, he left without saying goodbye. But that is the way things are. If I ever see another giant lizard, I'm going to slit it's throatagek. Current Mood: frustrated (Comment on this)
7:59 pm	Ain't That A Kick In The Ballsagek? Part 1 I went to the freehold last night to gloat, but there was no one there. Then I remembered both Olivia and Erin mentioning Erin's bar. I knew generally where it was, and just followed what s/he would describe as the largest concentration of "sparkly." The bar was nice enough, but the turn out was still disappointing. Out of the few people present, I only knew two of them: Erin and Mac. Well, three if you count the creepy, lurky guy. Apparently he's all weird and no-talky because he's spent a lot of time in the Dreaming. Yeah, I'd say that would do it. I had really been hoping to see Andrew and/or Olivia, so I could "accidentally" give away where my recently acquired money had come from, and let the game begin, but Erin said they were in New York or something about a kidnapper. So fate had it that I was to play a different game last night. I bought a round of gin for everyone who would drink. I bought two rounds for Mac, hoping to butter him up after our little misunderstanding last week. I explained to him that I needed a chimerical handgun, SOON, and that I wanted to pay money for it, not dross. I paid $250 up front, and he said he'd have it in a week. I knew he would do it with the right incentive. I'm just glad the incentive didn't have to get all... messy. I love having money... At the bar, I met a charming Satyr by name of Ganfee at the bar. He extended an invitation to some local Unseelie club of his. Basically, he said that membership automatically came with favors from himself and other members. It's an all-for-one, one-for-all type of deal which I must admit is very attractive to me. And on top of it all, it's an organization completely comprised of shit-starters. I told him I'd have to drop by and meet some other members some time, but that I would have to think about it. I hate committing to something to quickly. It was fun talking to Ganfee. Within minutes of meeting him I instantly wanted to tell him about my new treasures and my fabulous week of thievey goodness. I wanted to tell him... but I showed him instead. :) "Cover your ears," I instructed, and began the song... just in time for a six-foot-tall blue lizard (later I learned he was called a "Domagek") to walk in, poor unfortunate creature. He had barely gotten out his introduction when he passed out, right next to the new pooka girl who I call "Tuey." Oh, they were fine, and I got what I wanted. Ganfee was quite impressed. And then I saw Mochtadi (a man who I remember had temporarily worked on Sassine's crew), which was... random, if nothing else. {{{Davin's note: "ch" in "Mochtadi" is meant to represent the hacking noise, similar to the "Ch" in the proper pronunciation of "Chanukah.") With Machtodi leading the way, Mac and I entered the dreaming to hunt the Shamagek... or was it the Domagek? You know, there were so many giant lizards running around, it was a real mind-fuckagek. Part 2 soon to come. Current Mood: devious (Comment on this)
Saturday, May 14th, 2005
9:00 am	All your moneys are belong to us. Hehe... I'm a bad person. :-D And on Wednesday I had, yet again, confirmed this fact. I was going to go to the mall, but frankly, couldn't find it. I don't have a car, I don't have a city map, and I don't know of anyone nearby who would be cool with being my getaway car (Note to self: seek out more Unseelie changelings... and also buy a map). The mall, in hindsight, probably wouldn't have worked out that well. I couldn't have put the whole mall to sleep, of course, but then when do I ever think things through? Luckily, I had to go with plan B: a small jewelery store on St. Armand's Circle. It was beautiful stuff, mostly diamonds set in white gold... and platinum. Oh how I love platinum. I walked in with my veild wrapped around me head like a hijaab. My make-up was done to make me look plain, modest. I wore the biggest pair of black sunglasses I owned, and carried a bag in which I'd stuffed a green leather jacket and a pair of leather gloves. On my fingers, of course, I was already wearing my cymbals. It happened quickly. It had to, because as soon as I had played and knocked out two employees of the store and the only two customers, even though I had flipped the open/closed sign, I quickly became paranoid that someone would walk in at any minute, so I set to work. First, I replaced the cymbals with the gloves. Then I went about checking all the security. No alarm had been set off. There were no cameras. So sweet, so trusting, so foolish. The only thing I had to worry about was accessing the case, and the unconscious manager was nice enough to lend me her keys for that job. I tore the veil off of my head, quickly wrapped it around me and tied it like a dress, slid the sunglasses back onto the top of my head to hold my hair back, and put on my coat, whose pockets I quickly began stuffing with jewelery. Emerald and sapphire rings... diamond and perl earings... necklaces of silver rope with onyx beads... all into my pockets. When my pockets were full, I started filling the bag. The whole process took about ten minutes, and I left looking like an entirely different person, and feeling... I don't know... professional. There really is a great feeling of pride that you get from a job well done. Maybe it's knowing that you accomplished something very difficult... or maybe it's the $1,200 you make on the Tampa blackmarket. Yeah, that's probably what it is. Current Mood: accomplished (Comment on this)